10 Classic German Sports Cars We Wouldn't Touch With A 10-Foot Pole

2022-08-12 23:49:54 By : Ms. Monica Wang

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You can easily lose count of stunning German performance cars, but these classics are anything but great.

Mention Germany and sports cars, and you're likely going to be thinking Porsche 911s, Audi R8s, and more than a handful of M-badged BMWs. All undoubtedly fantastic sports cars of the modern era. But take a trip down automotive memory lane, and the same brands decades before have produced their share of cars to avoid.

By their very nature, sports cars should be gorgeous to gaze upon, fast, and exciting. This is where it all begins to go wrong; designers over exerting their creativeness, promising adrenalin spiking performance the engineering team fails to deliver. Both Porsche's 356 and its distant relative, the Karmann Ghia, exude good looks, style and charisma right up until the initial starter whirr kicks an asthmatic, air-cooled flat-four into life.

Classics make a lot of sense for nostalgic gearheads. Just be realistic with your expectations, going fast at the bare minimum, really does need to be a '80s-era turbocharged machine. Anything less should be avoided at all costs, or just parked up and admired for its looks alone.

Related: 5 Classic And Retro Japanese Sports Cars We'd Buy Over Any Muscle Car (5 We Wouldn't)

It might be the best BMW M3, but undeniably the E30 started the trend. During the E30's evolutionary path, BMW rolled out numerous engine options, fours and sixes filing the range. The recipe was straight forward enough, 2/4-door bodies with powerful engines.

Much like other carmakers, chopping out the steel roof in favor of folding fabric is where this one falls down. Less metal equals less strength and rigidity requiring under body bracing. Even throwing BMWs 2-liter straight six M20 under the good cannot make up for the extra pounds. Want a fast E30? Get a coupe instead.

Corvette mimicking good looks aside, the Opel GT didn't quite live up to expectations. In the lowest trim levels, tiny 1.1-liter OHV engines produced a meager 67 hp falling short of 100 mph. Performance concerns were addressed by the larger 1.9-liter four-cylinder motor.

Quirky best describes the GT, from its unusual rotating pop-up headlights to the curious installation choices. Take a look under the hood, and you'd think someone put the GT together in the wrong order. Brakes boosters normally connected to pedals via the shortest route possible. In the GT, Opel, placed this crucial item at the front of the engine bay.

RELATED: The Origins Of Opel's Experimental GT

The Borgward Isabella Coupe, for its day, was a world-class piece of engineering. In place of a spectator chassis and body Borgward used a monocoque construction with coil springs at each corner. Under the hood, a 1.4-liter four-cylinder engine drove the rear axle via an innovative 4-speed manual and hydraulic clutch set-up.

Those curves and hand-sculpted flanks hide a secret. In order to keep the panel gaps uniform Borgward resorted to old-school lead filler. While malleable and easy to work with, lead adds weight, and weight being the enemy of speed, the Isabella runs out of puff at 81 mph.

A cheap Porsche for the masses with Volkswagen along as a partner sounds like the 914 all over again. The second time around Porsche swapped to a front-engined layout that further alienated die-hard fans. The 924 would eventually come good with later Carrera and Turbo models. Early adopters, however, would be disappointed.

Budget performance car aspirations naturally meant smaller VW/Audi engines. The 924 launched in 1976, didn't get off to a flying start with 2-liter 95 hp engines driving a rear-mounted 4-speed transaxle. Speed wasn't a strong point. The early 924s struggled to reach 60 mph in under 10-seconds.

Steeply priced when new and lacking in serious performance, the BMW Z1 flopped. The Z1 launched in 1989 to the amazement of gearheads thanks to those drop-away doors. However, once the novelty value has worn off, there is little about the Z1 to get excited about.

With the entirely removable plastic bodywork discarded, you're left with a stripped back 325i E30 chassis and drivetrain. Why BMW bothered is a mystery, one that gearheads have also pondered, reflected in the dismal 8,000 sales. Packed with tech that no one really wanted or needed, the Z1 was never focused enough to be a serious sports car.

RELATED: Here's What Made The BMW Z1 Unique

Auto Unions legendary on-track success should be a good indicator of performance on the road. Unfortunately, the transition didn't quite go to plan for the 1000 Sp. Dubbed Germanys Ford Thunderbird based purely on appearances, under the hood, it was a different story.

Nothing quite as dramatic as a V8, V6 or even a four-cylinder engine; Auto Union bestowed the 1000 Sp with a three-cylinder unit. Unsurprisingly, the 981 cc 54 hp design was woefully underpowered for its intended use, requiring an agonizing 22-seconds to reach 60 mph.

A Beetle in all but appearances. Volkswagen cleverly recycled the bugs, entire chassis and floorpan for this German coupe. Undeniably a prettier design all round, the Karmann Ghia is highly sought after by collectors.

Gearheads taken in by the sleek 2+2-seater design will need to adjust their performance expectations. In the 1963 model year, the Ghia shipped with Volkswagens 1.2-liter flat-four mill putting down 36 hp. It tops out at 75 mph. Even the bug on which it's based is barely any slower.

Gorgeous to look at, the Melkus RS1000 is best left at that, just a piece of automotive eye-candy. Delve deeper, and you're going to be disappointed by what you find. Starting with the good bits, Melkus used lightweight bodywork over a traditional ladder-style chassis with independent suspension at all four corners.

Exotic gull-wing doors allow entry into a low-slung 2-seater sports car cockpit. Ahead of the driver, old-school analog gauges, a proper driver's car. Now for the bad bits. Race car dreams quickly evaporate once you fire up the engine. Placed directly behind the cockpit, a tiny two-stroke 992 cc three-cylinder engine tuned to 68 hp.

RELATED: 10 Things Everyone Forgot About The Melkus RS1000

Even Bertone styling and Wankel rotary engines couldn't save the NSU Spider from a near collapse. Launched in 1964 with production running to 2375 cars over three years, the NSU Spider was never a cheap proposition at $2,979.

High prices were only the tip of the iceberg. NSU's choice of Rotary power, at the time the first western carmaker to adopt Wankel design, were plagued with reliability issues. The NSU spider used a single rotor 498 cc unit claimed to produce 50 hp at 5,550 RPM. However, with high-numbers of worn apex seals calling into question the Spider's existence. NSU pulled the plug in 1967.

A sports car or interim stop gap, the Scirocco was Volkswagen's solution to two problems. On the one hand, the Scirocco was intended as a replacement for the aging Karmann Ghia. On the other a test bed for the upcoming Golf.

The Geneva Motor Show of 1973, served as Scirocco's first outing. From the outset it was clear the Scirocco was a poor relative of the soon-to-be launched Golf. Designed by Giugiaro over VWs A1 platform, Scirocco looked the part but lacked in performance. At the bottom end, 1.1-liter four-cylinder engines producing 50 hp were nothing to get excited about.

Raised in a car-obsessed environment from an early age ensured a keen interest in anything car-related. first and foremost an F1 fan, but also an avid follower of other motorsports. Professional background working closely with a well established UK based Supercar manufacturer in recent years.