I live in the Divided States of America, and I wake up every morning in fear of the outcome of the November elections. I suggest we skip the pundit-decided mid-terms and divide into two separate countries on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.

After 250 years, we still can’t agree how to solve our major problems: guns, overpopulation, regulating corporations, abortion, voting or fair taxation. Heck, we can’t even agree who is president.

Other countries that have experienced this problem tried other solutions, largely vindictive and violent: 1930s Germany tried exterminations by race, India and Pakistan’s separation was bloody and chaotic, Africa lost its people to slavery, the U.K. fought countless wars to unite their islands, Russia is still trying to annex “buffer states.” History does not judge any of these solutions kindly. In the end, they just ended up with separate countries – with boundaries dictated to them by conquering armies.

We are America; let’s show them how this is done.

Instead of this endless campaigning, Congress needs to sit down with President Biden and hash out a plan for an organized, disciplined, peaceful division of our country into two halves – ostensibly, Republicans and Democrats. I recommend a north/south split so each has access to both oceans. For a specified period of time, people could choose which country they wanted to live in. We can continue to trade but will govern as we choose.

Texas has its secession all planned out: why can’t the rest of us?

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